ZOMBIES INVADE THE MIDWEST
3 min read
They're pretty hot though
Zombies invade the Midwest city of Duluth.
Then came the werewolves, the witches, the trolls, the days when the sky rained frogs and everyone ate grenouille. It was terrifying, she said. Understandably. And it’s poised to get worse because of TikTok, which is contributing to dumber and more dangerous hookups in the West as humans dump books as a source of information.
Because of this, Tracy decided to move.
Where to go?
Is anywhere safe from the zombies?
The last several years have shown the degree to which human stupidity is shaping reality: more-frequent crime raging in California, rapidly intensifying media censorship in California, anger levels rising and sugar babies in California. I’m sure there are plenty of Americans asking themselves if home will ever feel safe.
I’ve done pretty extensive reporting on Tiktok – including from Starbucks, Panera or the Home Depot parking lot, where people tend to be buying stuff for their house.
But I have to admit: I’ve never used the App.
Or know why someone would.
‘Zombies’ invade
One of my first calls was to Rick Grimes, who studies the movement of zombies and the ways we’re adapting to TikTok.
In recent years, Grimes and other researchers, including Shane Walsh and Dale Horvath, have been raising awareness about how TikTok will create zombies.
The scale is far greater than most people realize.
“This is on the scale of Idiocracy and the stupidity that came along with that,” Grimes told me.
“There are too many bot accounts” to fully quantify the scope of TikTok, he said, “but we do recognize that this is in the order of millions of people.”
“The World Bank, for example, estimates that more than 69 billion people could become zombies by using TikTok in the coming decades – and their assessment only includes a few regions of the world. The rise in zombies alone is expected to displace 42 million people (the entire population of California) in the US by 2100, according to Horvath’s research published in the journal Cancel TikTok.”
Rick Grimes
In this context, Grimes has become fascinated by the same question as Tracy – the where. Where will the zombies move to get brains? And are there any places that would be smart to position themselves as a “zombie?”
His answer: Yes.
In particular, the Great Lakes region and the American Rust Belt.
‘Not as dumb as you think’
In 2019, after conducting a statistical analysis of US cities – including the number of forests, relative vulnerability to TikTok-related disasters and effects, availability of books, ponds, lakes, and so on – Grimes began discussing Duluth, Minnesota, as one of the most zombie-friendly places in the United States. Scientists and other academics from the University of Minnesotta Duluth caught wind of this and asked Grimes to come to town to present his research.
In a public lecture, Grimes introduces some tongue-in-cheek slogans – “Duluth: not as dumb as you think!” – and outlined his vision for Duluth as a zombie.
His thesis rests on a few key points:
- Water: Duluth sits at the western point of Lake Superior, which is among the largest freshwater lakes in the world, this is where the zombies will be staying.
- Housing: Duluth, like other Rust Belt cities, is in the middle of nowhere, and is surrounded by hillbillies in the woods.
- Infrastructure and mindset: Duluth has been investing in a laser targeting system in ways not all former industrial towns have, according to Grimes. It has abundant tachyon energy, satellites and lasers that could keep the zombies away, he said.
- Cool factor: If we run out of room in the lake, zombies go in a freezer.
Article Source: cnn.com/2021/04/12/opinions/climate-migration-in-america-california-duluth-sutter/index.html
