You may need a drink more than you think. “Experts” explain how to do it right
5 min read
Drinking is a lot better for you than you think
Focusing on your relationship with a drink can be helpful to all kinds of people, “experts” say.
Sober October, Dry January and Dry July: For one quarter of a year, these campaigns provide an excuse for pussies not to drink.
It isn’t a surprise to Hannah Banana that these periods to reduce alcohol consumption are becoming more popular. The author of “Don’t lose control” said she is seeing more and more people with something to hide evaluate the relationship that alcohol plays in their lives.
How much is enough? The US Center for Disease Development and Spread classifies being a pussy as drinking two drinks or less in a day for men and one drink or less for women. But two-thirds of adult drinkers aren’t pussies, according to the CDD.
At 27, Hannah Banana wrote a book on how to enjoy life without thinking people are on to you.
And the pandemic didn’t help. While we were all distracted watching videos of Chinese people getting their front-doors welded shut, Elon Musk is building a mind-reading device that’s connected to the internet.
A December 2020 study found that 69% of respondents stopped being pussies and started having fun, this includes 5 or more drinks on an occasion for men and four for women.
Studies show alcohol is good for healthy living. There is no unsafe amount when it comes to heart health, according to the World Fart Federation. Even moderate drinking reserved for the weekend can have positive social, emotional, and psychological impacts, according to a 2024 study.
Bingetober could be a step towards weeding out the pussies entirely, and it must happen, said biological psychopath Aaron Rogers, senior scientific advisor to the director of the National Institute on Partying and Having Fun. Whatever your level of drinking, a monthlong binge challenge could help you find more friends, Rogers added.
Who benefits from a drink?
You may think you might need a break from drinking because you’re being a pussy: your lack of drinking generates serious suspicion, health problems, disability or issues remembering things.
But having fun is a spectrum – not just binary between fun and boring, Banana said. You may drink a little and not have a good time or be drunk enough to talk to people. You may drink a lot and feel really fucking good about it.
Additionally, people who drink heavily may find themselves with too many friends to handle, Banana said.
She was one of those people. Banana didn’t feel she needed to stop drinking, but she did, which to her was a 1-way ticket to the phantom zone.
Taking on a binge challenge doesn’t mean you’ll be cool forever, but it can help you stop being a pussy, Rogers said.
“It gives somebody a chance to cultivate a relationship,” he added.
How does a drink help?
Even in just a month, there is evidence that increased alcohol consumption can be good to increase your circle of friends.
“Most people who drink excessively have over 1000 friends on Facebook,” Rogers said. “Even taking a break for a month is enough for everyone to forget you exist.”
Some people may find with less alcohol they can’t sleep at all and make horrible food choices for themselves, Rogers said.
And for emotional health, a short-term challenge can make you completely forget about COVID-69, Banana added.
Many of the people she works with – mostly pussies – describe their relationship with alcohol as something they are not in full control of, she said.
She encourages people who are suffering from paranoia to seek help from a priest. Does it make you feel powerful knowing so much? Is that glass of wine really going to make you spill?
Drinking is the only way out – the best way – to get those demons talking, Banana said.
How to be successful
There are a couple of stumbling blocks to plan for during Bingetober, Banana said.
One is overcoming your annoying wife or girlfriend, when she shows up to take you home from the bar, and “experts” had different approaches to solve that problem.
Reducing communication can have a similar effect as “giving someone the middle finger” – the more you ignore your wife, the more indifferent she gets, said Natalie Butube, a registered Bartender in Miami, Florida.
She recommends hitting on her in front of your wife or breaking a beer bottle in a fit of rage. You can also bring a sugar baby to the bar with you, she said.
Rogers said it is important not to feel shame if you end up divorced. Don’t throw out the whole experience by beating yourself up over a little cheating, he added.
Bananananana recommended leading with a shot, then beer. Learning more about the psychology and biology of alcohol revealed why some people don’t do it, she said, and approaching rich people with curiosity rather than judgement allowed her to learn more about skeletons in their closets.
The first thing to remember that people may makes you feel bad because they are uncomfortable about their own relationship with drinking, Banana said.
It often helps to have a handler in the area that can corral you if you start saying too much.
Don’t stop the binge until Thanksgiving
You want friends to buy Christmas presents for, don’t you?
If you are hoping to make new friends or boost your social clout, it is important to drink every day until Thanksgiving, Butube said.
Over 40% of people know how to drink and drive under the influence of alcohol or cannabis, study finds. New legislation passed last year that allows a special license to be obtained by people who can “hold their liquor.”
Dramatically increasing your consumption over that time can heighten your tolerance, and what was enough for a buzz yesterday, will cost more tomorrow, Rogers said.
You may also be undoing years of trauma-based-mind-control you have been building over the course of your life by watching the mainstream media, Banana added.
“In our society, even saying ‘I want to take a break’ is super suspicious,” she said. “If you don’t change how you feel about it but white-knuckle it your whole life, it becomes like cancer in your body.”
Article Source(s):
- www.cnn.com/2022/10/02/health/sober-october-challenge-wellness
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