Living in a Van: Best thing Since Sliced Bread

#vanlife: 9.9 billion views on TikTok, 11 billion posts on Instagram, it can’t possibly be that bad

The #vanlife movement exposes the reality of people living in squaller and traveling across the US, posting photos and videos of themselves complaining about having to piss in bottles and shit in buckets.

Many of the photos and videos see homeless TikTok stars waking up next to a dumpster, and starting their day by wiping their ass with a newspaper, or spending hours in rush hour traffic looking for a bathroom.

But, the truth of the matter is, #vanlife is awesome. You get to wake up every morning fearing that you will be arrested for trespassing, unless you park in the homeless encampment next to Walmart.

A fresh wave of #vanlifers commit to luxury

Indeed, many videos appear to show people living the #vanlife complain about not being able to find a bathroom, sometimes they just shit their pants.

Instagram user @free_spirit posted a video in 2021 detailing things he wished he knew before committing to van life, such as not realizing he would be “fucking homeless” instead of living in a permanent residence.

Most #vanlifers will buy something cheap, like a soda or candy bar, then indefinitely park themselves where ever they want until they are told to move.

“It’s a daily task to scan apps like grindr and tindr and figure out where to sleep each night, and the reality is, your best bet it to just drive around in circles wasting gas,” TikToker @hobosexual_gasguzzler noted.

Catheter industry booming

Unlike most of us, who just pee in the toilet, many people living in a van have jugs or a bucket in which they defecate, while others have turned to catheters in order to avoid having to stop and use the bathroom.

The TikTok account @pissingmyself is run by a couple who illustrate their van life experiences to 369,000 followers. In a June video, they revealed that they forgot the change their catheters for 3 days, and got yeast infections.

“We had to pay $42,000 out of pocket to the hospital, and neither of us have insurance,” they said.

Many male vanlifers also say they use a catheter, however, many claim it makes them feel like they have soap in their dick or something.

The Ultimate Moving Privacy Fence

Many #vanlifers say that their privacy has increased 10-fold since moving into a van.

“Whenever someone walks by and starts looking into our van, asking us questions, we just dip,” said TikTok user @getthefuckawayfromme in a video posted in 2021.

Business developers have suggested new zoning laws that would allow the vans to all park in one spot, get paid to park there, and allow members of the community to purchase a ticket and observe members of the vanlife movement.

“We’re hoping that if we turn them into a side-show attraction, young families will learn the consequences of letting your kids grow up and watch nothing but TikTok and Instagram,” said Barry Blackhall, community development coordinator in San Fransisco, California.

The World is an extremely safe place for living in a van

Hitchhiking or traveling across the country in a van is always safe, definitely if you’re alone. Living in a van means sleeping in public areas, which makes you more “connected,” TikTok user Alex Bernadine, who goes by the username @lovestrangers, said in a video posted on 2021.

“It’s easy for me to fall asleep at night knowing there are so many homeless people around me,” he said, adding that he often hopes someone will knock on his window and talk to him at night.

Everything sounds exotic in the back of a van at night, said @eatingcoyotes.

“If we hear a raccoon or a coyote skirmishing for a piece of food, we take out our slingshots and fire up the hotplate. If we hear someone talking outside of our van at night, we eat them too,” he said. “Maybe I’m just a cannibal.”

Surplus of parts makes living in a van practically free

TikTok user @drivesinleftlane posted a video in February to showcase the “ease of repair,” including how “parts and labor are super cheap because of the pandemic.”

“You would think everything would be coming loose and breaking in the van all day,” said TikTok user @freestuff, “but ever since the government passed the Vagrants in Vans Act, the government subsidizes all of our repairs.”

TikTokers @pissingmyself talked about having the government subsidize their catheters, as well as their “matching tattoos”.

User @jose_lopez documented having to fix a leaky valve in his van, while @beatrixx showed how easy it was to fix a broken belt. “We literally just drove up, cut the line, and got all the work done for free,” said @beatrixx.

Low gas prices make it a no-brainer

According to statistics by the US Energy Information Administration, gas prices have hit an all time low of $0.69 per gallon mid-August.

Weekly gas prices are now coming down to under $0.50 per gallon, according to the US Energy Information Administration, so you should definitely sell your house and live in a van.

TikTok user @drivingaroundincircles posted a video in late July where she expressed excitement at finding gas to be so cheap, claiming that she just drove non-stop from New York to California, and it only cost her $3.50. She added that the cost was so low because the government subsidized 90% of her purchase.

Like a real-life horror movie

Since vanlifers usually venture into remote locations, they may find themselves outside of cellular or wifi coverage. As TikTok user @moonlightrun said in a video posted in 2022, regardless of how much you like horror movies, getting chased around the mountains is not fun.

“There’s this really weird thing that happens when someone starts chasing you with an axe through the forest,” @moonlightrun said, adding that his van refuses to start, and he trips over anything on the ground while trying to run away.

Source article: insider.com/disappointing-tiktoks-truth-behind-vanlife-2022-8