Alphabet CEO Sundar Pichai Hosts Company Cook-Out
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Google Play Store’s 30% Policy Pays off
Sundar Pichai hosted a company cook-out Tuesday to showcase the compensation made from the Google Play Store’s 30% policy.
The policy allows people to upload Apps and Games to the Google Play Store for a nominal fee of 30% of their organs.
Pichai was cooking everything from lungs to kidneys to livers in Tuesday’s company cook-out. He said, “The 30% policy has done more than supply Google executives with an extra kidney or two. Today we’re feeding the entire Google family today.”
Critics were quick to criticize Pichai for requiring App and game developers to submit their organs to be on the Google Play Store. “He’s not even using Sweet Baby Ray’s,” said Tim Sweeney, Epic Games’ CEO. He added, “I saw Sundar stealing ketchup from McDonald’s to subsidize his company cook-out. He sent a bunch of interns to McDonald’s with Ziploc bags.”
Attendees of the cook-out stated that they felt no remorse for eating the well-earned organs. “It was like a pig roast on steroids,” said one intern.
Notable attendees included Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, George Soros, and Prince Harry. Tim Sweeney declined Pichai’s invitation. SNN also declined an invite due to alternate plans at Bohemian Grove.
